Testimony

Preface

"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."

Philippians 3:8

I've written many testimonies before, speaking of my encounters with God through my experiences to share for my baptism and within my university fellowship groups. As time grew, so did the chapters and the depth of my understanding in my faith journey. There's something so surreal about knowing that God isn't done with me and that even now as I write this, would be considered only the beginning of my race towards the finish line.

It's incredible to see how far He's brought me and how much farther I still have to go. In the future, my testimony might again change to draw on new insights and experiences but for this period in my life; my name is John and this is my testimony on how I came to know Jesus.

Chapter I: Early Childhood

"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Micah 6:8

My dad immigrated to Canada in 1992—after the Tianmen Massacre—as a student, studying Computer Science as it was highly employable at the time despite his interest in History and Economics. With little money, broken English and nothing other than the clothes on his back he spent 7 years, alternating between study-terms and work-terms to successfully complete his degree. Among those 7 years, his car broke down at a gas station. It was at this gas station where he first heard of Jesus—from his now life-long friend, Greg—and believed on the spot. I think any 20 year-old student who grew up being bullied, living alone in a foreign country that doesn't speak your mother tongue who also happens to be barely afloat financially would cling onto the slightest resemblance of hope that life has greater meaning.

By God's grace, he finished his degree, married my mom and together moved to Banff, where he worked at Banff National Park. There, my sister and I were born and for as long as I can remember, I've grown up in the church. An auntie, who I later volunteered with, recalled meeting my mom while I was still in the womb.

To support both our education, my family moved us to Calgary. My dad would commute to Banff every week for his job, while my mom, keen on raising us within Christian influences, enrolled us in a Christian school half-way across the city, spending upwards of 2 hours in the car every day while also working part-time at a Christian bookstore. The school I attended was a Dutch-heritage school and hosted grades K-12. Many of the alumni who grew up attending later ended up teaching, enrolling their children and on the rare occasion both.

Prior to this experience, all I had seen was Chinese people. I was at a Chinese-bilingual elementary school and even the church we attended was a Chinese church rooted in their Cantonese and Mandarin congregations. You can probably imagine how it felt on my first day when I was being introduced to a classroom full of blondes, whom I didn't have the slightest idea how to tell them apart from each other.

Besides our facial differences, there were other aspects that contributed to my uniqueness at that school. Of those aspects, location was one of them. As I mentioned earlier, our family lived in the northeast, diagonal to my school in the southwest, with our journey consisting of passing through downtown during rush hour. Combined with my limited amount of playtime, it made it very difficult to hang out with friends in the summer.

Another aspect was our hobbies and extracurriculars. Many of my classmates played hockey and various other sports outside of school while I took piano lessons and participated in Air Cadets. Many times, I remember being happy when I wasn't picked last in mini-sticks and two-hand-touch football. After all, who was going to pick a scrawny small Asian kid with little experience to be on their team but my close friends.

Aside from those, there were also behavioural differences. One-time in grade 6, my mom prepared pork and chive dumplings to school for my lunch. During the morning break, our homeroom teacher commented on the smell from the hallways, which I knew was from my dumplings, having eaten them so many times. Another example came from the teachers. Being a quiet and studious child —as much as an elementary student can be studious—, the teachers would more often than not sit all the loud mouths next to me which resulted in me being well acquainted with all the troublemakers in the grade.

By far what I found was the most impactful was the fact that I stuck with only a few close friends. This probably was because I found finding friends extremely difficult in that environment and was thereby glad to even have found a few. The result of my behaviour to stick to what I know, was that my feedback from parent teacher interviews and report cards would always be that I needed to make more friends and engage with other kids as well. Along the lines of this, the teachers who corroborated amongst each other when deciding which students belong together in the 3 different homeroom classrooms, would also separate me from my close friends. Although with good intention —to help me make new friends—, I would find hints of jealousy after seeing my best buds at the time become close with other kids. Ironically, this also led me to stay quiet and even more self-contained.

Not to discredit anyone's well-intentioned choices in my upbringing, these factors led me to be very sheltered and harboured feelings of "not fitting in" or "being different". Looking back, this probably also led me to seek belonging through the form of external validation, primarily, performance and achievements.

At school, I centred my identity around being the top of my class. This wasn't actually that competitive since our already small school —a graduating class of 60— focused much more on athletics and that led to many smarter students leaving for high schools with IB and AP programs in pursuit of better education. Thus, I would sweep the math competitions and music excellence awards, including one year where I came home with 7 awards.

My experience at cadets and church was similar. At cadets, there were consistent evaluations on your drill (military movements such as marching), dress (polishing your boots, and ironing your uniform), and responsibility/deportment (leadership positions) that I would often chase in the hopes of promotions and recognition. The pursuit of these titles meant extra training on Mondays and Saturdays during the school year and additional time spent in the summer to be involved in cadet training centres. The year before I left for university, I was promoted to Warrant Officer Second-Class (second-highest rank), acting as the Squadron Warrant Officer (third-ranked parade position), awarded Legion Medal of Excellence (for leadership and service), Heart of Griffon (for embodying the cadet spirit) and won over $5000 in scholarships to support post-secondary education due to my involvements.

On the other hand, an ideal member of the church followed in similar fashion and would be heavily involved in the various church programs as a either a participant or a volunteer. At its peak, my church schedule consisted of attending youth fellowship on Fridays, being involved as a youth leader, practicing for the church worship team and volunteering for a program called AWANA on Saturdays and finally attending Bible study, church service and helping out/leading youth service teams on Sundays.

The result of being so involved also led me to be baptized at the age of 14, with little to no reflection on whether the decision was from a personal relationship with God or because it was the "right way" to be a Christian. Would you question your choices and whether you were doing something wrong if everyone around you is telling you're on the right track and doing all the right things?

Chapter II: University

"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”"

Matthew 14:30-31

As I started my degree at The University of British Columbia leaving Calgary for Vancouver, I also left behind the bubble of structure and expectation that was created for me. My previous familiarities for pursuing achievements and my major in Business and Computer Science naturally drew my focus towards chasing prestige.

This most commonly came in the form of internships and what could only be described as "TC maxing"—total compensation maxing—which in other words, the maximization of your salary at all costs. No longer was a balanced life encouraged, but one that revolved around making it. Six-figures post-graduation, working in the luxurious Big Tech companies with free lunches was the expectation... who wouldn't want that?

Time quickly became a scarce resource to spend wisely, with any and everything that didn't contribute to your resume or passing interviews—such as going to church and fellowship—being shoved under the rug. When I was first immersed in this world, I did what I could to retain what was familiar to me. I joined a Christian fellowship, P2C (Power to Change) and attended all their gatherings, just as I would my home church. I had weekly conversations with my faith mentors at P2C, many around the discussion of the pursuit of prestige and how I didn't know what I wanted to do but ensured that I would do what God wills for me. Such plans included returning back to Calgary and serving my home church after graduation.

However, being very much a sheep to the influences around me, the new ambitions became the normal for me and in an environment where faith was no longer normalized among my peers, I started to ask myself questions on where I was spending my time. Without realizing it, I had entered a new bubble, one that was focused on the next big thing.

Suddenly, gone were the reasons for my faith—if they were even there in the first place—and I found it quite difficult to explain why I did as I did and why I believed as I believed. I thought I was choosing God and making that decision independently, yet I soon realized that it was a result of my secluded environment in Calgary. Likewise, attending church also became abnormal, and very much a third-person activity, like those near-death experiences where patients see would watch from above as surgeons operate over their body.

This marked the beginning of many of my questions on the church's activities as an "outsider".

Why do we sing worship songs? Other religions don't really have that.

Why do we read the Bible out loud and together? Cults do the same with their important text.

Christianity seems to be selling the exact thing that broken people need, hope? Other cults and religion do this and many people refer to it as a false hope. Why would Christianity be any different?

Among these also included questioning the ordinances—baptism and communion—of Christianity which I had so thoroughly participated in prior.

Why are we eating the "blood" and "body" of Christ? That sounds just as much cult-like as anything else.

Baptism is weird too because what do you mean dying to your prior self and being made new?

And even if we ignore these off-putting practices, there are historical allegations against the church.

Why are mega churches selling prosperity gospel and try to make you feel good through their "worship music"?

Why do their lead pastors and other church leaders like Catholic priests have such bad reputations? The people that are supposed to show God's love are doing the exact opposite.

Why are there a bunch of different denominations that all are distinct enough to be separated?

I would go to sleep wrestling with all sorts of these thoughts not sure whether this was the strengthening or the tearing down of my faith. Looking back, it was evidence of growth towards the right direction, like when muscles tear only to repair again, stronger the second time.

Christianity Through First Principles

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Romans 3:23

One thing that I somehow kept constant during this time was reading a chapter every day. This small habit started off in 2022 and by mid-2025, I had finished up my first full run-through of the Bible. In deciding which book I'd start from again, I remember hearing someone somewhere say that Romans is good, like really good. I forgot the reason but that's exactly what I did. I read the Book of Romans, one chapter a day until I finished. And then I did it again. And again. And again.

I read it multiple times cover to cover because something about it was different this time. This was definitely not the first time I had read Romans. In fact, prior to this, I had even memorized multiple verses from Romans but for some reason I understand exactly what I was reading, as if I was blind and now I could see. What I had discovered within the Book of Romans is what I call Fundamental Christianity.

In a video interview with Elon Musk, he describes two types of thinking:

• By Analogy: Doing something because it's like what other people have done or like what other people are doing.
• First Principles: A basic, fundamental truth or assumption that cannot be broken down any further which is used to solve a problem. This also means stripping away habits, traditions, and analogies and reasoning with only the core truths.

What I realized, is that much of my life, not all, but much of it was spent on reasoning by analogy. Within the Book of Romans, Paul was reasoning by first principles. Although, I was familiar with many of the first principles and the overall content in the book. At some point, I had stopped revisiting and emphasizing the importance of it. Forgetting those was like stripping a building of its pillars. It is completely nonsensical.

If you're a Christian like me, I highly recommend you to repeatedly read Romans until you understand it's first principles. Despite being a letter, Paul has a clever way of orchestrating a two-way dialogue using rhetorical questions and answering them himself and together these first principles paint the Fundamentals of Christianity. Some of them include:

• Humans are sinful, there is no exception.
• God does not like sin.
• God is just and requires punishment for those who sin.
• Following the law (Jewish customs) will not save you from sin. Thereby making no difference between the Jew or the Gentile, the circumcised or the uncircumcised.
• Jesus paid the penalty for our sins.
• Righteousness is credited not by works but by faith in Jesus.

By analogy, I had compared Christianity to another religion as if it was just any other religion. By first principles, it unique and fully justified. By analogy, I had thought the church to be assumedly perfect. By first principles, it is filled with broken people, and that's expected.

Quite literally, Sunday school was right. Jesus is the answer to everything and I had found the answer only by stripping everything I knew and starting over again, feeding on the "spiritual milk" again and again until I had matured.

Most of the first principles are found in the first half of Romans and the latter half of the book explores how to practically live out your faith. Isn't righteousness not by works? How then can our faith be pure if we try to earn righteousness through our works?

Pursuit of Practical Christianity

"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder."

James 2:14-19

The Scriptures in James describes here the first principle that faith without works is dead. This since has led me to pursue my faith through Scripture-led daily living. Doubts and questions still come and go in undulations yet I am constantly reminded to be grounded by these first principles and the fundamentals of my faith.

Closing Notes

"Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”"

Matthew 4:19

In a calling to live out my faith, I've also decided to share this and declare this the start of Fishermen, a place where I will write down my learnings on the road to the finish line. I love the word fishermen because that's exactly what you and I were called to be. Jesus called the disciples—which historians believed ranged from the ages 15–30 years old—to be "fishers of men" and completely uprooted their lives to share the Good News. Likewise, I hope these writings will help you learn about the Good News.

"If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

Romans 10:9-15